KHARTOUM STAND UP

I usually hear about weird stuff that shows up on the internet as soon as it happens, but I only discovered BANGS about a month ago. He's a Sudanese rapper out of Khartoum, Sudan who now lives in Melbourne, Australia, and he's something to see alright. BANGS raps about a lot of things, but mostly the shawtys, and more specifically, taking them to the movies.



It's got close to 3 million views. About this video I need to say a few things.

1) If you can watch that silly-ass music video and not laugh and/or fall in love with the utter so-bad-it's-goodness of BANGS then I'm afraid you need to go drown yourself in the toilet cause your life is just not one worth living.

2) Where the hell did BANGS get an iPhone? And why do the parts of the video where he's on the phone have such high production values? It's like they spent all their money on the iPhone scene and then the budget ran out so they had to use the iPhone to film and edit the rest of the video. Still though, iPhone status gets BANGS mad points, cause I live in America and I still use a Motorola Razr.

Like any respectable hip hop artist, BANGS has a fairly sizable community of haters, which are quite vocal in comments on reposts of the BANGS videos on Youtube.

"good lord this dude is just downright awful. most likely one of the if not the worst rapper I've ever seen. you suck" -mrpotato623, mad cause BANGS is stylin on him

"can anyone else not see how horrible this is? and the government wonders how we get broke! you guys investing the wrong money to the wrong people GOD DAMN..." -kennyboi619, mad cause his videos never broke double-digit views

There's this type of hate, but then you get stuff like THIS, which I have a VERY SERIOUS PROBLEM WITH.

"your music is a joke but if you were 2 rap n your native language or rap about all the things that are happening over there or educate others, i think you would make a greater impact that trying to imitate what you think is going on in America ok" -caramelcutie313, RACIST

That's right caramelcutie313, you're fucking racist. And I will explain in great detail why.

To demonstrate this we're gonna look at a rapper that is very very different from BANGS... K'NAAN was born in Somalia and as a young boy lived in the Capital city of Mogadishu at the height of the brutal Somali Civil War, which caused the deaths of hundreds of thousands through combat and starvation. At age 13 K'NAAN and his family were able to move to New York City and then Canada, where he learned English and began his rap career.


Themes of K'NAAN's music include the state of world affairs and current events, uplifting impoverished peoples, and reflections of his Somalian roots. He has recorded several tracks in his native Somali. He's a talented and successful rapper and I like him.

Now, what does he have to do with BANGS?

Exactly. He has nothing to do with BANGS.

Fuckheads like caramelcutie313 think that because a rapper is African he can only make cultural NPR-y hip hop about genocide and shit, and if you ask me it's downright disgusting. K'NAAN and BANGS are two people who moved from states of oppression to the free world, in which they are able to pursue their own dreams and forge their own destinies. K'NAAN has chosen to make socially conscious rap because that's how he expresses himself as an artist. But ya boy BANGS is a different guy from the sky, and he just wants to rap about taking girls to the movies, and if you think there's something wrong with that then there's something wrong with you.

I hope you enjoyed the blog post,
Cause I did too,
Anytime you wanna read again just holler at me.
Baby girl, we can make it,
To be better than before.
Anything you want me to blog,
I can blog it fo' sho.

I'm Gonna Go Get Some Belts After This

Last night on American Idol, 62-year-old underground rapper GENERAL LARRY PLATT out of Atlanta, GA performed his original song Pants On The Ground. Now you have got to see this mess.


After a remarkably humble introduction to his act in which GEN. PLATT explains the message of his original song ("people need to pull their pants up"), the man bares his soul for the world to see.

Pants on the ground,
Pants on the ground.
Lookin' like a FOOL with your pants on the ground.

You got the gold in your mouth,
Hat turned sideways,
Pants hit the ground,
Walkin, talkin,
Thinkin' you're a cool cat,
Lookin' like a FOOL with your pants on the ground!!

Note the sick breaking GEN. PLATT pulls while spittin' the truth.

Old people have been telling hip hop fans to pull up their pants for more than two decades now, from driveby fist-shakings, to the swift upward grandmotherly thrusts to white suburban belt loops, to quiet laments around the bridge table over the kids these days. How it took until 2010 for a senior citizen rapper to write a song on the subject and perform it on American Idol I don't think the world will ever know. But there was something special about GEN. PLATT. He wasn't just some jackass who wanted to be on TV, which is what most shows today feature. GEN. PLATT had a mission, a message that was crying out to be heard by the American socio-cultural landscape. You punks need to pull your pants up. You look like a fool.

Within minutes of this being on TV, the internets went positively bonkers. It was the trending topic on Twitter the entire night and most of today. The fact that I heard about this mess as fast as I did speaks volumes, as I don't watch television anymore. That didn't stop me from watching the above clip on Youtube like 15 minutes after it aired, because it was uploaded just that fast. They don't call it the worlds most powerful communication tool because it looks good on Al Gore's resume.

So word to GENERAL LARRY PLATT. You have not seen the last of this guy, I guarantee it.